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4 Women Get Real About How Swinging Affected Their Relationships
What's the Big Deal? Julia Allen, co-founder of StockingsVRwas 24 when she first walked into Swinging meeting places swingers club and has now been swinging for 25 years. We didn't do anything except dance and talk to some people the first night, but it was exciting and I couldn't wait to go back. A few months later, on New Year's Eve, we had a hotel room and invited a few people up. It was packed and before I knew it, everyone was having sex all around me. A lovely woman wanted to play with me and my boyfriend. I loved watching him with her and having him watch me with her, and then both of us just getting lost in the whole experience.
I loved the experience of being able to have sex outside of my relationship. Swinging takes care of all of my sex needs. I really feel that it strengthens every relationship. I don't view sex as something that you only have with someone you love. I think every boyfriend I've had has felt the same way. I guess you could say that swinging has enriched my relationships and also enriched my life. Most people who are new to swinging don't actually have sex. They like to watch. In a swingers club, no really does mean no. Many times, I've had men or women approach me and if I don't feel like it, I just say no. You can explore any fantasy you have at a swingers club.
I would suggest for first timers to try a larger club where there are lots of people. People who go to swingers clubs are normal people who you would never guess in a million years are swingers. About 90 percent of people who swing are married with kids and just want to try walking on the wild side together. In the beginning, when I was younger, it felt awkward based on my inability to be assertive about my wants and needs. It felt more like that group sex stereotype that you might see on TV or in porn I think one mistake some people make is assuming that swinging has only one meaning, but it's something that is totally open to interpretation.
Some of my most intimate, fulfilling encounters lately have been 'soft swap' — meaning I have sex with my primary partner, and have foreplay only with our 'guests.